Sestina Trial
by Matt Stoltz, 2005
Mr. Caulfield's twisted and mangled body was discovered in a creek,
Or maybe it was a lagoon, inside Central Park surrounded by ducks.
Old Jane caught wind of it all watching the late night news with that phony
Ass anchor woman Suzanne Poutyface; "lead FBI investigator Maurice
Potts warned the perpetrator responsible for this monstrous act that, 'justice
Is totally cool...so watchya back.' Then he gave condolences and that's it."
Holden sat down on the bench in the park remembering old Jane and it
Made him think of that son of a bitch father that was somewhere up shit creek
For all he knew. Jane told him stories one day playing checkers. "Just ice
And bourbon" he yelled at the bartender in the jazz club, while watching Dukes
Of Hazard on the T.V. He's lost the ability to organize thoughts, "MORE RICE
DAMN IT!" He impolitely asked the waiter while he labeled the piano man phony.
It was his little sister's birthday and rumor had it Caulfield wanted to get her a pony,
Or so family members told reporters. "I hate dem crimnels dey only in it
Fo' da' putytang, an da' money, an da' gunz so dats why, me, you know, mr. maurice
FBI's finest is gonna make sure dis caufield don't get buried wit any mo duck
Shit on hes face." Just beyond the yellow tape where the cold wind blew off the creek
A new key witness, Mr. Horowitz, a cabbie had one word for authorities; "Justice."
Mr. Horowitz explained that he saw two humans arguing and one said "just ice
Pick him in the fuckin head, that oughtta do him in. afta all he said yousa phony."
Horowitz gave a description of the humans and almost got shat on by a duck
"Mr. Caulfield was a sadistic aimless son of a bitch and I think that it
Damn well served him right, and I wish that damn door wouldn't creak."
Said Spencer a former teacher of caulfield's. "where the hells Maurice?"
Screamed FBI director Jimmy Dean Frech. Maurice was playing duck
Hunt in the crime lab while he should have been looking for evidence in the creek.
"Sorry suh." "Any new leads?" Uh yea I tink dat da woman, da lady, da phony
hit Caulfield in the temple wit a ice pick and den dat killed him an now justice
will hunt dat bad bitch down." "You ranting idiot what make you think it
was Mrs. Poutyface, she is a respectable figure of this community...Maurice
Are you listening?" "yeah I's listenin, an I's just sayin dat I tink da phony
Did it". Maurice received a phone call prior to this conversation from Millcreek
By an anonymous caller named Jane Gallager who said she wanted justice
And she gave information about Mrs Poutyface as well as info about ducks...
Which confused the hell out of Maurice. "FBI hires complete moron: Maurice
And as for the death of a Mr. Caulfield, murdered with an ice pick, I did it."